Soulmates
by Vsquared-k
Summary: "Dearest Brittany..." A Brittberry  Pieberry?  oneshot, angsty. Warning: Character death!


**Title:** Soulmates  
**Rating:** PG  
**Spoilers: **All aired episodes  
**Summary:** Based on this prompt at the glee_fem_meme:

_Rachel is dating one of the other girls- Santana, Quinn or Brittany. It's junior year and things are going well. Then Rachel abruptly breaks it off, so the other girl is hurt and Slushies and torments Rachel and gets the other girls to do it, too._

_Rachel's been diagnosed with leukemia and she just wanted to make it easier for the girl she was dating, and so that girl could enjoy regular school stuff like glee, cheerios and school dances without worrying about vomiting, hair loss, chemo, death, etc._

_Rachel dies over the summer because she's just too sick. No one finds out about it until the school year starts again. The girl she dated gets letter that Rachel wrote her while she was in chemo, dying, etc, apologising for hurting her and forgiving her for the Slushies and insults and how much Rachel loved that girl and that girl made Rachel's life better, etc._

_MAKE ME CRY._

**Pairings: **Brittberry, Brittana friendship  
**Warnings!: **Major Character Death! Oh, and ANGSTTTTT!

* * *

I was bullied all over the place in elementary school... something about being different sets little children onto other little children. Now that I'm twelve, and I've started fighting back, my teachers think I have anger issues. My parents don't know what to do, really, so they send me to a therapist. Even at the age of twelve, I can tell he's pretty useless, since he doesn't know what kids are like anymore, and he doesn't know how to help me much.

However, one thing he says sticks in my mind pretty strongly.

"You're going to get out of elementary school soon, right, Santana? And you're moving on to Middle School. In Middle School, everything's brighter, and you'll meet new people. These people will get along with you, and will love you for being who you are, and they will be more than friends for you. They'll be your soulmates."

I raise my eyebrow, because he says soulmates, not soulmate, meaning I'll have more than one.

He laughs at me. "A soulmate is someone who you feel a deep connection with, someone you can't let go, no matter what they do. It doesn't have to be romantic, like everyone thinks they are. Aristotle said something about true friendship, but I'm sure you don't care about what he said... You'll just naturally be drawn to these people, and you'll put them before yourself. You'll care for them, and they for you, and that's when you know you've found one of your soulmates."

* * *

I meet Brittany on the first day of classes in high school, in homeroom. She smiles at me and waves, and, by the end of the week, I'm sure I've found my soulmate.

When I tell Brittany that a month later, at Puck's party, she's a little tipsy, and she doesn't understand. She pulls me up to Puck's bedroom, and kisses me...

It's not exactly what I had in mind, but I'd do anything for her.

* * *

Just after sectionals in Junior year, Brittany stops sleeping with me. It's not like the Artie debacle, where she's angry at me, so sleeps with someone else... She just stops sleeping with me. Not that I mind, particularly, but it's odd, so I ask her.

"I'm dating someone."

"Oh?" I didn't know that...

"And she told me if we're dating, I shouldn't be having sex with you, even if sex isn't dating." I nod, because that makes sense... even though no one has ever told her that before.

"If you're stopping the sex, does that mean this person's special?"

She nods. "She calls me Duckie." Somehow, that's nauseatingly cute. I think I approve of this person. "I think I love her."

"Does she have a name?"

Brittany nods, but doesn't tell me, so I suppose it's fine.

One movie later, Brittany looks at me, slightly troubled, and asks if it's all right to have more than one soulmate. I smile slightly, and nod. Her face relaxes, and she turns back to the screen as I turn on another movie.

* * *

B drags me to Breadstix, telling me that I have to meet her other soulmate. When I raise an eyebrow, she giggles and tells me that they aren't soulmates like she and I are, but, you know, the regular kind. We've been sitting in the booth for a while when, in the middle of a conversation about ponies, her face turns completely serious, and she informs me that I have to be nice. I nod absently, still wondering who this secret soulmate of hers is, so she pokes me.

"No, you have to be really nice." I raise my hands in surrender, and smile. I would do anything for Brittany, and she knows that.

The door of Breadstix opens with a jingle, and I turn to see Berry walk in and look around for someone. I turn back to the menu in my hands, so I'm startled when I hear her cry, "Duckie! I'm sorry I'm late! Dance class went over time!" Duckie? That's what Brittany's girlfriend calls her... Oh my God, Manhands?

Brittany turns to me again, her grin shifting to a scowl, and reminds me again to be nice. I huff a sigh, and close my menu as Berry scoots into the booth across from us with a smile on her face.

"Hi," Berry smirks slightly, "I don't believe we've met." I look up at her, slightly surprised. "You must be Santana! Brittany's told me all about you!" I'm getting a little confused, when she gets up and reaches across the table for a handshake, a twinkle in her eye. "I'm Rachel Berry, and I'm in love with your best friend."

I smirk, finally understanding. She wants to start over, and to just... forget about the past. I could do that; I could do that for Brittany. I reach over and grasp her hand in a firm handshake, telling her it was nice to meet her, finally. "Brittany just won't shut up about you!"

"Rach? Honey? We go to school with Santana..." We both sit back down and glance over at B to see the most remarkably adorable confused look on her face. "And, well... we're in Glee Club! Did you hit your head?" Rachel shakes her head, and smiles gently, saying that it's okay, and this is just something that soulmates have to do when they meet other soulmates of their soulmate. Brittany scrunches her brow in thought, then nods understandingly, though I can tell she's still confused.

* * *

It's remarkable how incredibly in love the two of them are... It's all secret looks of love, and happy accidental brushes against each other. This, I realize, has been happening for a while, so I'm surprised I never noticed before. Brittany decides she doesn't want to keep it a secret at school anymore, so Rachel becomes a part of our little circle (with Quinn). One day, while we're at my house, she asks me to stop people from slushying Rachel.

"I'll tell her it was me... it'll be romantic." I laugh, and nod at Quinn (we'd already discussed this development on the phone two nights ago), and she nods back.

I've decided that Rachel is good for Brittany, even though I wasn't so sure before.

* * *

A month before Junior Prom, I'm surprised to see Brittany, crying, on my doorstep. I usher her inside, and lead her to my room, sitting her down on my bed. She's completely unintelligible, but when I go to get her some kleenex to clean off her face, she grabs me in a fierce grip, and doesn't let me go.

"What's wrong, B?" I turn to hug her, and she holds onto me as if I'm her lifeline, and she doesn't want to ever have to let me go. "B, do you need me to bust some heads?"

At this, she whimpers, and holds me tighter. "No. That would mean you'd have to hurt Rachel." I almost don't hear her, and I wish I don't, but I do.

That **_bitch_**! She is **so** going to get it tomorrow! "What did she do, Brittany?" It doesn't really matter _what_ she did, because she's going to wish she'd never been born, when I'm done with her.

"She broke up with me... She told me she doesn't love me, and that it's better this way. I don't get it!" I don't even know what to say. "Promise you won't do anything to her tomorrow?"

"Why?"

"Because I still love her..."

* * *

It doesn't take Quinn very long to put two and two together the next day, and in between first and second period, Quinn Fabray personally throws an extra-large cherry slushy into Berry's face. "That's for Brittany," she hisses, stalking away. Rachel looks resigned, but rushes away, regardless. I don't actually see it, but I see her rush past me in her haste to get to the bathroom.

I burst into the second floor bathroom after her. I have to fix things.

"Brittany's still in love with you."

She looks up, fear and confusion in her eyes. It quickly changes to sadness and anguish, as she whispers, "I know."

Her broken look, her sadness, it's obvious! I'm stunned, because, "You're still in love with her too..." She nods. I need to know..."Then why aren't you still together?"

She shakes her head, telling me that it's better this way.

"Brittany told me that you said the same bullshit to her... How is this better? You're both... Brittany's hurting because of you!" She winces. "Brittany's convinced you don't love her anymore!"

"I lied." I'm confused, so she elaborates. "I lied to her. I told her I don't love her, and... well, it's better this way."

"For who?"

"Both of us... really. For her, mostly, but for both of us. I swear."

I send her a frigid look of disdain. "You're a liar. A liar and a coward. You don't deserve her..."

I turn to leave, but I stop when I hear a whisper. "Santana? Please? Take care of her for me? I know you will, but..." I nod almost imperceptibly, and when I stalk out, I hear her retching into the toilet.

I thought she said she didn't have a gag reflex... I guess she lied about that, too.

* * *

After two days of watching Brittany wallow in sadness, I buy two tickets to Cabo, with return tickets two days before school starts. Hopefully it will cheer her up... At the very least, she won't see Rachel anymore.

She barely sees Berry anyway, since Berry quit Glee club, and skips school at least once a week. But what she does see, she tells me.

"Rachel's not eating... look, she's getting thinner."

"Rachel's sad that she's getting slushies again... can you make Quinn stop? She told me once that it isn't good for her skin..."

"Rachel isn't feeling well... she isn't talking very much to people. Look, her hair is looking a bit thinner too..."

"I miss Rachel. I wish she'd come say hi..."

* * *

The last time I see Rachel Berry before the summer is in the bathroom two weeks before school lets out for the summer. I'm ready to leave Ohio... Summer can't come fast enough.

I go into the bathroom for a quick makeup check between classes, and I see Berry standing at the sink, two little white pills in her hand. I stalk over, furiously, and slap them away. They fly into the sink, and we listen silently to them fall down the drain, her looking shocked, and me looking absolutely furious. "Really, Berry? Drugs? I know you're not eating, but you've stooped so low as to take pills? Between classes?"

She stays silent, still watching the drain, as if it will make the pills come back out, dry and ingestible.

I shake my head. "Brittany's worried about you, you know. She just... isn't herself anymore, because of you, and she watches you." She doesn't acknowledge me, so I get annoyed and grab her shoulders.

There. I finally have her attention.

"I don't know what's going on, Rachel, but you have to get your stuff together. The Rachel Berry I know wouldn't do this to herself. I don't care one way or another, but Brittany does, so for Brittany's sake, even if you don't have the guts to get back together with her, stop doing this to yourself! Why would you even take those pills?"

She finally looks up at me, pain evident in her eyes, and whispers, "Because... it just hurts so much sometimes, San..."

I drop her shoulders, and scowl. "Well, that's your own fault, isn't it? Coward."

I leave her, speechless, on the floor.

The next day, she stops coming to school.

* * *

Summer doesn't go as planned, and Cabo isn't as amazing as we hoped it'd be, so it's a relief when school rolls around again. Specifically when Glee comes back. I can tell Brittany really wants to see Berry, even if it hurts her every time.

We walk in a little late, to see everyone sitting silently in their chairs. Quinn looks disgusted, and Mercedes is crying on Kurt's shoulders. I'm shocked to see Finn is crying, too. Puck looks like he wants to punch something.

Rachel is nowhere to be found.

"San? What's happening?" Brittany looks lost, and I grip her pinky tighter with mine. "Where's Rachel?"

At the diva's name, Quinn bursts into tears, whispering apologies over and over again, to whom, I don't know.

Tina looks up from her spot in the corner, broken and hollow, but with dry eyes. "Rachel died of cancer, over the summer." What the fuck? "I... volunteer at the hospital during the summer, and..." She chokes back a sob, and walks over, rummaging in her bag for something. She pulls out a pile of envelopes, and hands it to a sobbing Brittany. "She wanted you to have these."

I look over to see Rachel's handwriting on the front of the top letter, and gold star stickers on all four corners of the envelope. There's a doodle of a duck on the bottom corner, that's saying, "I love you!" and another, on the back, that's saying, "I'm sorry".

"Rachel..." Brittany whispers brokenly. She hugs the envelopes to her chest, and falls to her knees, wailing.

Tears burn my eyes as I run over to the garbage can, and vomit.

* * *

One week passes, and I practically move into B's house. I know she hasn't read Rachel's letters yet, so I ask her why.

"I... don't think I can... Every time I see them, I cry." She snuggles into me. "Will you read them to me?"

I would do anything for Brittany, but I'm surprised to find that it's a lot harder to do this simple request than I'd thought.

* * *

_Dearest Brittany,_

_I love you so much, and I'm sorry I told you otherwise. I'm sorry if I hurt you, and... I really do love you. I just didn't want you to have to go through this. Me going through this is already enough._

_Remember how you were asking me about those bruises? Well, my dads asked about them too, so they took me to the doctor, and..._

_They told me I have leukemia. Well, I guess, if you're reading this, I had leukemia... The only reason you're reading this is either because I died, or I got better, so... yeah. Anyway, they told me it was pretty bad, and that they'd set me up with chemotherapy as soon as possible. They're going to try and make me better..._

_I know that Junior Prom is only, like, a month away, but by then, I might already be puking everywhere or losing my hair or something, so I guess I'm breaking up with you so that you can have the best Junior Prom ever. I know that Santana will help you have a good time, even if I'm not there. I actually already have a dress and I'm going to have to cancel the limo I've hired and... it's all a bit of a hassle, really._

_I miss you already. I just... I can't bear you having to go through this. I love you too much to let you hurt because you're watching me suffer._

* * *

_Dearest Brittany,_

_I love you._

_Tell Quinn I forgive her for the slushies. I know she's only doing it because I hurt you, so, really, I think I deserve them._

_Santana really cares about you... Did I ever tell you I was a little jealous of you two when we first started dating? I've never had a friend like her... I kind of wish I did. You two are really close._

_I can't really eat anything anymore without vomiting it up again. It makes me kind of sad, because I really like food..._

_When I get better, me and you are going to go to an ice cream parlour, and I'm going to get you anything you want. Then I'm going to get a some ice cream too, a chocolate fudge scoop or something. Well, that's assuming you'll take me back after this... I miss you._

* * *

_Dearest Brittany,_

_I love you so much._

_My hair's starting to fall out, and soon, we're going to shave it all off. It's really too bad, because I really like my hair. I know you like it too, because you used to play with it a lot while we were watching movies. I miss that. I miss a lot about you, but I keep having to tell myself that this is better, because when it's all over, and I'm better, I can just, well, explain, and hopefully you'll take me back. For now, I just remember the good days, and it usually helps me get through the pain._

* * *

_Dearest Brittany,_

_I love you so very much..._

_Someone told me once that chemotherapy either kills the cancer, or it kills you... I'm scared, Brittany. Really scared._

_The doctors don't think I should go to school anymore... something about infections._

* * *

_Dearest Brittany,_

_Words can not describe the way my heart longs for you._

_Chemo hurts. A lot. The memory of your smile is what gets me through the days now, and, well, the doctors... I can tell that the news isn't good. They're moving me to another wing of the hospital, and I'm pretty sure this means I'm not going to make it._

_Tina told me you and Santana went to Cabo for the summer? That sounds like fun! I wish I could go with you, but I'm stuck in this hospital room... I'm pretty sure I'm not getting any better._

_Tina's volunteering! Well, she's supposed to be, but she's talked her supervisor into letting her care only for me... I missed having her as a friend. Did you know we were good friends in middle school? I guess we drifted apart a little in high school, huh? I made her promise not to tell anyone about this._

* * *

_Dearest Brittany,_

_I love you._

_It's getting hard to write, so I'm just telling Tina what to write down for me. If there's tear stains on the page, it's not mine, okay?_

_You're amazing. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Even better than that time I saw Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenowith in Wicked. I hope you're having an amazing time in Cabo!_

* * *

_Dearest Brittany,_

_I love you._

_I'm dying._

_I'm sorry._

* * *

Two weeks have passed since school started, and Glee club is canceled. We all decide that we should visit the diva, because the only person who even knew about this was Tina. None of the rest of the club was present at the funeral, so Tina leads us to the grave. Someone has already left flowers.

Everyone says something to her, and we talk about how we'll miss her. The only dry eyes are Tina's... I'm still surprised that the shy Asian is the only one strong enough to handle this. Or maybe she isn't, because the fire that had grown in her since Sophomore year is practically extinguished. Quinn just keeps sobbing and apologizing... I let Brittany hold her, because, at this point, it's as close to her knowing Rachel forgives her as Quinn can get, and she needs B more than I do.

I stand over Berry's grave after everyone else from Glee has left, and I cry.

"You're a coward." I shake my head, tears dripping down my face. "You know, you could have told us... we could have helped you. It would have been hard on Brittany, but... isn't it worse for her, finding out like this? Finding out that she couldn't help you when you needed it? That we couldn't? You're such a coward."

"I know you had Tina, and she helped you or whatever, but... we would have come to visit, or something! Hospitals aren't so scary that me and B can't go into them if someone we care about is in there! She loved you! Hell, I loved you!"

It's then I realize that, as much as Brittany would always be my soulmate, Rachel Berry was also my soulmate. I just realized a little too late, and now I wouldn't be able to show her how much she meant to me.

"We would have been there for you... you stupid bitch."

I kneel, and stroke the tombstone, almost gently. I can hear Quinn behind me, calling my name, so I lean closer, and whisper.

"I'll take care of her for you, I promise."

* * *

**A/N: **The concept of soulmates as presented in this fic was told to me by my therapist a little while ago (6 years ago? maybe?). Like Santana, I thought he had no idea what he was talking about, due to not being a kid in school. Like Santana, everything was "blahblahblahblah", except for the soulmates bit. I also recently read up on friendship as written described by Aristotle, so... Yay for Pezberry friendships!

Also, I debated in my head who this prompt would be most angsty from, and I realized it'd be Brittany, because everyone wants to protect Brittany, apparently. That's just how it is.

**A/N2:** My editor is awesome, and incredibly patient. Thank you, Batman, for being so patient about my writing of Camellia... It's coming soon, I promise.


End file.
